I start a blog, write two posts, leave it and never come back. Until now.
When i first started my blog i was excited to share what i had on my mind, i was nervous about those who might be reading it, and i wasn't sure if i was doing it all for the right motives.
Now...after a year of learning and growing and taking one more step in my journey, i've realized this is something i really want to do!
But i didn't get there alone. With help from Earnest Shackleton and the inspiration of my beloved friends, i am back!
Earnest Shackleton, the famous polar explorer from 1914 put a very interesting want-ad in the newspaper:
"Men wanted for hazardous journey. Small wages. Bitter cold. Long months of complete darkness. Constant danger. Safe return doubtful. Honour and recognition in case of success." Who wants in!? "ME ME ME".
In total, 27 crew members were recruited for a journey aboard "The Endurance" for a 2-year British Imperial Trans-Antarctic Expedition. Despite their boat sinking and living on a piece of floating ice for 497 days in Antarctica, every single man eventually made it home to safety.
Last week a really amazing couple, who are best friends with me and husby, told us they were leaving the country for two and half years! I instantly was sad, and started crying like a baby.
God had told them to go, He had opened the path for them to move to costa rica, they listened, sold or gave everything they had away, packed up a 100 things, and left!
Shocker!
At first i was angry when i heard the news. I never pictured our life without our best friends in it! Then i was sad, they were leaving us behind to go this great adventure without us!
Then after thought and prayer, i was happy for them. I felt peace, and i knew they had made the right decision. They were following their dreams, better yet....God's dream! And they were a part of it!
It made me wonder. If my own dreams aren't all that exciting, if i'm not moving to strange a country to grow closer to God, if i'm not pastor, or a counselor, or a NGO worker, who i'm I? What am i doing to change or help the kingdom of heaven? Is my passion to be a mother enough? Should i enjoy living in a culture with cute shoes, and cute clothes!? I'm i materialistic because i have soo much? Is it wrong that lamps and candles and art make my heart beat faster!
All these question did consume my thoughts. Why wasn't i being used? How come husby and i weren't asked to go!?
Truth is, would I have listened? Could i sell everything i have? Would i be willing to give up my family, my belonging, and my friends? I still don't have those answers, and I would like to believe that if God told me to GO, i'd GO....but.
That's just it.
There is a but.
Because of my moment of hesitation i wonder if that "but" is preventing me from stepping out and doing the will of God.
I really don't know what my God ordained life should look like. I struggle with that. Yet i must say. Because i struggle, i feel happy.
I am encouraged, and i am happy.
"when we are weak, he is strong" - 2 Corinthians 12:10
When our friends stepped out in faith like that, to do something crazy and wild, and extreme, it made me want the same. I didn't and don't want to move away, but i do want to be used.
God send me on a chase! Help me find what you have in store for me!
So the reason i've decided to blog again?!?
Well, it's simple really. I need accountability. I need to regularly be reviewing what i'm learning, I need to be intentional about finding truth where i go, and i need the chance to reach, teach, and guide others towards Jesus! Who knows, maybe i'll encourage some too, like J&M encouraged me!
It's time to raise my sails, and answer God's ridiculous want-ad for me, "Live dangerously. Live outside the box. Tour the world. Live simply. Experience mountain tops and long months of complete darkness.... Honour and recognition in case of success."
Bon Voyage!
The Warrior and the Wife
